Are You AVOIDING THIS in Therapy? | Kati Morton

Dodging questions may be something we have done our whole lives in order to stay safe and okay. This could have been by lying in order to not be abused or mistreated, or even by side stepping questions that could make a parent or friend mad by distracting them with something else.
It’s very normal to dodge questions that are difficult or uncomfortable, it’s like a defense mechanism. And I say all of this so you know it’s not bad that you do this, it’s actually perfectly normal, and part of self preservation. I have patients change the subject, try to ask about me and my life, give me information or share a story that has nothing to do with what we are working on, and overall try to avoid talking about real issues in therapy.
Honestly, overcoming these defenses is a lot of the work that I do every day with my patients. It could be trying to ask a question in a different way, or starting with someone more recent that isn’t as emotionally charged. It could even be taking a step back and building up resources first. It’s really not very common that I have a patient come into my office and be so open and honest and have no issue talking about anything I ask.
But remember that defense mechanisms and self preservation techniques don’t really have a place in therapy because the goal is to push through those as much as we can and open up. Which I know is really really hard, but is really the core of therapy, because our therapist can’t help us or offer helpful tools if they don’t know what’s really going on.

12 Defense Mechanisms


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