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A horny hero, the numbers game and how Dame Helen Mirren won Instagram

A horny hero, the numbers game and how Dame Helen Mirren won Instagram THERE comes a point, most days, when I ask myself why I bother with social media. Videos of unlikely animal friendships can only act as unicorn chasers – sorbet for the soul – for so long before the white noise and spirit-crushing bile becomes unbearable.

I'm well aware that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Be it scrolling idly through claptrap conspiracy theories, rejecting requests to play Candy Crush or attempting to traverse the strange hinterland of modern political discourse.

Then comes a gem that makes enduring all the narcissism, navel-gazing and nonsense seem worthwhile: step forward Dame Helen Mirren. Her Instagram account is sheer joy. Particularly in recent days when she's been having great fun in her downtime from filming art heist biopic The Duke.

The Oscar-winning actress went to see a panto in Bradford where she donned a light-up blue tiara, yelled "he's behind you" from the audience and afterwards went backstage to meet the cast, including comedian Billy Pearce, Chuckle Brother Paul Elliott and former Steps member Faye Tozer.

It was all documented on her Instagram feed along with a visit to a curry house and a sublime snap of four, apparently random, women in fancy dress – leg warmers, ra-ra skirts, a shell suit, neon accessories and crimped hair – captioned: "Some gals having a great eighties night out in Bradford."

If tourist chiefs aren't running a campaign on the back of this exposure, they have surely missed a trick. Dame Helen, though, is a breath of fresh air among the posturing and pouting that has become ubiquitous across large swathes of Instagram.

In one brilliant, tongue-in-cheek shot she stands beside a row of bright yellow safety barriers which match t

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